{"id":164,"date":"2015-12-01T04:16:17","date_gmt":"2015-12-01T04:16:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ryanwalraven.com\/blog\/?page_id=164"},"modified":"2017-02-16T06:16:55","modified_gmt":"2017-02-16T06:16:55","slug":"quotes-from-physicists","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.ryanwalraven.com\/blog\/quotes-from-physicists\/","title":{"rendered":"Quotes from Physicists"},"content":{"rendered":"

Real Quotes from Physicists<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Names have been omitted or changed to protect the innocent.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yeah, these are all made up. Despite the title. Definitely.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n

Professor J:<\/p>\n

\n
    \n
  • “In the end, elegance doesn’t matter. It’s whatever nature chooses that matters.”
    \n<\/em><\/li>\n
  • “You can’t just say ‘B<\/strong>oom!’<\/strong> I have this theory. It’s perfect.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n
    \n
      \n
    • J: “And that would be manifestly invariant under x goes to -x. Is everyone OK with that? I sense some discontent.”<\/em>\n
        \n
      • Josh: “… what are you doing?”<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
      • “It really\u00a0is\u00a0<\/strong>black magic.” – while teaching particle physics
        \n<\/em><\/li>\n
      • “For some reason I screwed up all the signs in the notes. I don’t know why.”<\/li>\n
      • *Kevin walks by and J pauses while writing notes on dark matter:* “Sorry. Someone was viewing our classroom with horror.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n
        \n

        Professor C:<\/p>\n

        \n
          \n
        • “Wait, I’ve got a minus sign here… but then how could I have come this far?!”<\/li>\n
        • “Well folks, I’ve been standing here for an hour with ‘minus sign’ problems… I’m losing it.” *runs hand through hair*<\/em> “I can’t think anymore.”<\/li>\n
        • “Today is our celebration of Gaussian averages.”<\/li>\n
        • “There are many solid state physicists who object to the term ‘condensed matter physicists,’ but they’re dying out.”<\/li>\n
        • “The weather doesn’t depend on quantum mechanics.”<\/li>\n
        • *Mumbling at the chalk board* “Don’t worry, there’s a conversation going on in my head which you’re not hearing.”<\/li>\n
        • “Well, if you spend a lonely evening testing all the possibilities you’ll find it’s linear in u.”<\/li>\n
        • “We’ll finish the rest of this derivation on Tuesday. Today is Thursday, right? No, wait, today is Thursday.” *pauses to look at the clock*<\/li>\n
        • “Nature\u00a0has\u00a0<\/strong>the solution.”<\/li>\n
        • “I like my ice tea… cold. I keep telling them to add more ice until it stops melting. And then I know it’s just right.”<\/li>\n
        • “You can’t have a little bit of symmetry. Either you’ve got it or you don’t.”<\/li>\n
        • “It’s a laborious derivation, so I’ll outline the steps and you can fill it in if you want… as a Christmas present to yourself.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n
          \n

          Professor M:<\/p>\n

            \n
          • \n

            “There’s always something new, including in the very old and honorable field of electrodynamics.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            “It’s just another application of kindergarten level linear algebra.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            “Alright, I’m not going to teach this stuff to kindergarteners but the approach is about the same.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

             <\/p>\n

            \n

            Adelman:<\/p>\n

            \n
              \n
            • “Mathematicians don’t have a function for ‘weird,’ but they need one.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n
              \n

              Professor X:<\/p>\n

              \n
                \n
              • “Yeah, this is kosher. Even the Rabbi’s won’t complain about it!”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n
                \n

                Professor P:<\/p>\n

                \n
                  \n
                • “There’s a slight swindle here.”<\/li>\n
                • “I’ve got notes here on spin. They’ve kind of illegible but… um… I’ll make some copies.”<\/li>\n
                • Student: “What’s the due date?”\n
                    \n
                  • Professor P: “I dunno. Whatever. What’s the last possible date?”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
                  • “This is the rabbit and the hare story all over again.”<\/li>\n
                  • *In the middle of a lengthy derivation, he points at the board* “This is not true, that’s the problem.”<\/li>\n
                  • “We won’t check any of this. It’s just an exhibition of…” *pauses* “…things.”<\/li>\n
                  • *Stops writing on the board* “So, anyway, we should get something. Class dismissed.”<\/li>\n
                  • Student: “So S is a matrix?”\n
                      \n
                    • Professor P: “Yes”<\/li>\n
                    • “Any matrix? What is it?”<\/li>\n
                    • *Professor point at the letter S on the board* “It’s this matrix.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
                    • Student: “So those are spin states?”\n
                        \n
                      • Professor: “What I’m trying to say is that this has nothing to do with spin. Well, it does actually.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
                      • “So we’re assuming that t can’t be too large, but also that it’s large. It’s kind of iffy, but it’s kosher. It works.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                         <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

                         <\/p>\n

                        \n

                        Jasper:<\/p>\n

                        \n
                          \n
                        • “Do you remember when we were there and there was this boat and we thought it was the moon?”<\/li>\n
                        • Connor: “Jasper, did you watch the eclipse last night?”\n
                            \n
                          • “I didn’t, but I dunno. I also heard last year that Mars was going to look as big as the moon one night and it didn’t.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
                          • To J: “I have a question. I don’t know what the appropriate time is but I’ll ask now.”\n
                              \n
                            • Jason: “That’s a very Venkmanesque statement, but OK.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
                            • “What do you guys think of a substance pyramid instead of a food pyramid?”<\/li>\n
                            • “Dude, I offered my class extra credit to dress as their lab partner for Halloween.”<\/li>\n
                            • “That guy has the same level of balance as a penguin.”<\/li>\n
                            • “I took a big poop one time and I kinda enjoyed it.”<\/li>\n
                            • On Haruki Murakami: “What it does is put you in the mood to go to a train station and eat ramen for four hours.”<\/li>\n
                            • “Colorado is great. It’s either snowstorms and sun or thunderstorms and sun.”<\/li>\n
                            • “Let’s put it this way – the bikini was designed to arouse.”<\/li>\n
                            • “You know, I think I just underestimate the coolness of strangers sometimes.”<\/li>\n
                            • “Have you guys read life of pi? I thought that book was nonfiction.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n
                              \n

                              Grad Student 1A:<\/p>\n

                              \n